Parenting Teens: Insights from a High School Student

As parents, it can be challenging to understand children’s evolving needs. These needs seem to shift with every mood and moment, making the task even more daunting. I know parents provide for our basic needs, but there’s a lot more to shaping kids when it comes to discipline, behavioral issues, and instilling core values. Although there is a wealth of books, documentaries, online courses, and blogs offering advice, I want to share on parenting teens my perspective as a high school student. Here are five tips on meeting your children’s needs beyond the basics, from the viewpoint of a student.

1. Faith: Trust in Their Decisions

I understand that teenagers aren’t the smartest or wisest beings. Our brains are still developing, and we’re in a constant state of growth. This means that parents might sometimes find it hard to have faith in our decision-making abilities. While we grasp the need for guidance, we also yearn for freedom. Parenting teens is about striking a healthy balance between trusting your child to make decisions and offering guidance when needed. 

If your teenager is facing challenges, programs like Forge provide valuable adult influence in their lives. This gives the child an opportunity to take charge in solving their own issues and overcoming adversity. It’s not that we don’t want the help of our amazing parents– but sometimes we just want to prove that we can do it.

2. Optional Solitude: Space for Self-Reflection

Parents of teens often feel the overwhelming need to be the “perfect” presence in their kids’ lives. However, there are moments when giving your teenager space is the best thing you can do. This doesn’t mean we’re up to no good or getting into trouble. Sometimes, we just need time and solitude to process our day and the events in our lives.

Rather than an immediate “How was your day at school?” the second you child gets home, give them a moment to relax and decompress. We all need quiet time to reflect and reenergize when we come home from a long day– parents included.

3. Respect: Acknowledge Their Choices

While we’re not yet adults, we value being treated with respect. We’re capable of making decisions, being responsible, and exploring our interests. Even if we make mistakes, we want our choices to be respected. Making significant life decisions can be daunting, and when we mess up, we appreciate being shown respect, just as adults would.

4. Guidance: A Helping Hand Along the Way

We’re not designed to navigate life’s journey on our own. We acknowledge that we need guidance in various ways. We don’t want to feel abandoned. If your teenager is resistant to accepting guidance, discussing the importance of having trusted adults in their lives can be helpful. While we might resist it at times, we value respect and deep conversations.

5. Encouragement: Celebrate Positive Choices

No one enjoys being scolded or grounded all the time. While these actions are sometimes necessary, part of parenting teens is to provide encouragement and recognize positive choices and influences in your teenager’s life. We need this encouragement to feel that we’re on the right path. Even when things seem tough, promoting the first four tips from this article can lead to positive changes in our lives.

You might have noticed that the first letter of each of these items spells “FORGE.” These are the principles we endorse at Forge Youth Mentoring. We understand that supporting your children’s growth and development can be challenging, and we’re here to help rebuild the intergenerational bond in our community. Forge Youth Mentoring encourages you on this journey, and together, we can create more inspiring stories like those of Jim and Junior.